Tomorrow is THE day!

I get to find out when I am having my little boy. I am so excited. I hope I go in on Tuesday and leave on Wednesday.

Tomorrow

I get Gracie back tomorrow. I wish my baby boy was here but I do have some good new. Well good for me. I got a new computer for school work and a desk and I am super happy with them. I got a good deal too it came with a printer. I am 3 days overdue and getting fussy but that's normal..at least that's what my doctor says.

Tonight Sucks

Gracie isn't here. Baby isn't here. Jon is here but attached to his game. I am bored and depressed. Why can't I just have everyone that makes me happy here with me. I mean that really isn't too much to ask...is it?

DUE DATE!!!

...and still no baby Erech. I am bummed. I find out tomorrow when I will be induced though. So that will be good. I am tired and I'm gonna be crying here in about 30 minutes. I have to put Gracie to bed and tomorrow we have to give her back to Tori til Saturday afternoon. I hope I have my little boy soon. So when Gracie comes home she will have a new baby brother to play with.

Close So Close

So I had to go to the hospital but it was just a close call. Come on Erech come out already. I wanna hold you...NOW!!! lol

Packing the Bag

So I have everything packed and ready to go for when I go into labor. I am really excited. I am tired now though so this is going to be a very short post.

My sister came to visit and just like my mom she has to criticize everything in my apartment. HELLO!!! I have a one year old. She makes messes. I clean when she goes to bed then she does it all over again the next day. My apartment is clean 4 days out of the week, and clean 7 nights out of the week. Its not like I just let it stay a giant mess. But I learned that cleaning while Gracie is awake is no good because she just undoes it all when I move to something else. Its not even that bad. Just her toys everywhere and laundry from the day. Not that bad.

I Am A Failure

I thought I could handle 3 classes, well 4 I was on the wait list for one, but I just dropped my history and nutrition classes because I fail at life. I can't handle more than 2 classes. Why can't I. I was able to handle way more in high school. Though in high school I was cared for and only had to worry about school. Now I have kids and an apartment, and a job and I am so tired. This is hard.

That Just Made my Day

Well Tori did hand over Gracie but she was very rude about it. I opened my door and the first thing Gracie does is get this HUGE smile on her face and start reaching for me. Tori pulls her back and says where is Jon. I told her he was at work and she was like oh well that's good for him and then practically throws Gracie at me, who was still reaching for me and whining because Tori wouldn't hand her over. I was trying hard not to laugh. Right before I shut the door she said I will be picking you up later honey. HA! No she won't. Way to lie to your kid mom. Jeeze. I am in a good mood. Very tired though. Got some cute outfits for when I come home from the hospital and of course I can't go to the store and not get something for Gracie and the baby...Jon hates that. But I feel guilty if I don't. Is that bad?

Anyway, I am enrolled in 3 online classes and I need to get some studying done while I still can. Gracie is in bed sleeping to twinkle twinkle little star and Jon is on his xbox. So as soon as I order some more drop in things for baby's bottles I am going to get started on my reading. I am kinda not wanting to do the history class now though. I have trouble understanding the assignments. Just the wording of them. hmmm...work study might help that. Idk.

Night everyone.

ITS TIME!!! I wish..

Still no baby boy to report. He is being very complicated. But when he gets here I will make sure I post pictures and let you all know.

Jon has to work the closing shift tomorrow at work, so that means I have to be the one that Tori drops GraceLynn off too. The thing is I already know she won't do that. It is in the court order that she has to release GraceLynn to me, my mom, or Jon. And I just know she isn't going to follow what the judge said. I know the judge takes pitty on her and looks at her like oh you poor thing none of your baby daddies stuck around. But you see Jon is a good father, though he can be obsessive over video games sometimes. He is still a great dad. I have read all of the crap that Tori talks about him on myspace. I don't see why she has to stoop so low as to call Jon an unfit father. He doesn't have to use his child to take care of himself. He got a job and is making it in society. Tori had a job..once..and she quit because she got pregnant. How Lame!

I guess I am just frustrated because she seems to get what she wants and Jon and I get stuck following the court orders while she defies them all and still gets her way. I hate having custody at 50/50 its so ridiculous. We have seen her around town and she has her new baby and her older son, but because we let GraceLynn be so independent and choose things and wonder around and explore Tori can't handle her. So why can she never take Gracie in public? Because she can not handle an independent one year old. I can and I love how curious she is. She gets to learn and grow and laugh and have fun. So why can't Tori step up and be a mother to her. I am and I am better for it, she has taught me just like I have taught her. Before we got custody of her she couldn't walk or even crawl. Now she is zooming everywhere and she runs and climbs and well I think she might play soft ball because she has one good arm.

I miss her. I am so happy I get her back tomorrow. I know this will sound childish but I can't wait to see the look on Tori's face when Gracie starts getting all happy and excited when I open the door and not Jon. She is going to pee herself...or just get really mad. In fact I hope she messes up because at the last court hearing the judge said if she messes up one more time she is going to loose everything. It's bad enough she has the DA going after her for multiple counts of fraud. This chick doesn't even have a license and she so does not follow that rule.

Oh super funny..or at least I think so. We never see Tori actually walking, we see her in stores and at parks..without Gracie..but never out walking. These last few days, since she lives so close to my mothers, we have seen her walking, but not just her...her mother too. And neither of them EVER walk they drive everywhere. I wonder what happened. The brother has even been riding a bike around instead of driving his truck..how weird. He works at a place where he has to drive..I find it funny that none of them have been seen driving.

Well I am off to bed. More of my crazy life to come. I just need to try to remember to let my thoughts out..I forget easy.

So Long..Whoops

Sorry it has been so long since I last wrote. I have been getting ready for my little boy everyday for a while and still I have so much to do. I got his bassinet set up, and the car seat and stroller, all with Jon's help of course. Except the car seat I did that one all by myself without having to call for help. Though he did check it to make sure. I still need to put together his play pin that will go in my living room and his baby swing. I need to wash all his new clothes, which I have waited to do until after I had my baby shower, which happened yesterday, so really I have no more excuses on getting that started. Off topic, but OMG new born diapers are soooooooooo cute. I am so excited he is finally going to be here is 8 days, maybe less maybe more, but I am hoping less.

So the drama with Tori hasn't stopped since the last post either. Not even with all my happiness can I go into GraceLynn's room when she is not here. I still break down and cry. I have gotten to the point where her door has to be shut when she isn't home because seeing her room just so still is more than depressing. Is there more than depressing? I am just frustrated that a mother can say such hateful hurtful things to someone else. For your entertainment I will share with you Tori's most recent text messages to MY phone..for Jon..but to MY phone..not Jon's..nice isn't she.

This first one was because Jon told Tori she needed to check her court records and stop bringing people to our door. The judge even specifically said her mother and brother are not to go to the door during drop off because of the violent acts and behavior they have shown.

Text: Maybe u need to check the court orders dumb ass or ur ugly ass controlling girlfriend cus it doesnt say anything about people coming to the door. 99% BITCH

Text: I guess when guys are desperate they will take whatever girl comes their way. Im so sorry! 99% BITCH

Funny thing is she hasn't brought anyone to the door since. So I am guessing she went home and checked the court orders and figured out, hey he was right. Her signature suites her well. I love her insults though, I get to use them as harassment in court. :) Which will only be helping us.

Text: Jon, please stop calling me and trying to get me to listen in the back ground to what we had. I DONT WANT YOU BACK!!! you got another one pregnant. 99% BITCH

Text: You made ur bed and now you have to lay with it! 99% BITCH

Text: Thats what I thought 99% BITCH

Text: Its nice to no that i have people looking out for me. Everytime i hear that phone ring, i no ur thinking bout me and that u still love me jon. BEAUTIFUL!!!

Text: Keep that phone ringing. Have a nice night. BEAUTIFUL!!!

Text: Grow up moron!!! BEAUTIFUL!!!

So someone has been calling her and hanging up. It is not me and Jon. I will let anyone check my phone records, its not us. But apparently she thinks she is worth our time to be calling and hanging up. After she sent those my phone started getting blocked calls from a girl..sounding like Tori..laughing and then hanging up. She is also now stalking my apartment. Really who does that. Someone with no life. I think instead of being so worried and interested about my life she should try taking care of the two kids she does have full custody of. It is just so funny she is telling me to grow up..or Jon..probably both. She has no Job, no Friends, well she says her only friend is her mother, and fully leans on welfare to provide for her and her kids. I have a Job, as does Jon. We pay our bills, not welfare, We buy our food, not welfare. We can put the right size diaper on a one year old..she put a size 5 on GraceLynn, she barely fits a size 3 but the 2's are too little now. She will be a 3 in about 3 or 4 months but for now they do the job, but really two sizes too big. Retard.

hope this long post made up for those missing days. ill try to keep up, life just happens and I forget..